I’d like to begin by letting you know that teens who struggle with self-harm get better all the time! There is help. There is hope.
By: Christian T. Hill, MA, LPC Alpine Connection Counseling.
It can be distressing to know a friend or teen in your life is struggling with self-harm. Though they might feel embarrassed or ashamed to admit it, this behavior is unfortunately not uncommon. Self-harm, or non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI), takes many forms, including cutting, burning, scratching skin until it bleeds, or even biting one’s lips until they bleed.
Teens who self-harm find it incredibly difficult to talk about their internal pain. They often don’t know how to start the conversation and may avoid seeking help for their intense emotions because they don’t know where to turn. This struggle is sometimes complicated by the digital age, as some teens share images of their self-harm on social media platforms like Instagram or Facebook. This is an unhealthy coping mechanism that can backfire, as the posts aren’t private, exposing the teen to peer pressure and other complications.
Why Does Self-Harm Occur?
Contrary to what many believe, individuals who self-harm do not want to hurt themselves; rather, they feel they lack any other viable way to cope with overwhelming emotions or deal with life’s problems.
Tragically, many people wrongly dismiss these teens as being “silly,” “provocative,” or “just going through a phase.” Friends and family may even feel upset because the act goes against social norms or personal values. Such reactions only push the teen further away.
Self-harm is a vicious cycle because it encourages even poorer coping skills, leading to increased isolation and secrecy. This makes it a major concern for parents and educators, as untreated self-harm can quickly escalate and lead to a range of other serious issues, including depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts.
Teens who self-harm often internalize the belief that they are “damaged goods,” which creates profound shame and guilt. This belief prevents them from forming healthy attachments and keeps them isolated, fueling the very thoughts that lead to more self-injury. Many also don’t fully understand the severity or long-term repercussions of their actions.
How to Help a Teen Who Self-Harms
If you know a teen who is struggling with self-harm, your response can make a critical difference:
- Educate Yourself: Learn the facts about self-harm and understand that it is a serious sign of emotional distress, not attention-seeking behavior.
- Encourage, Don’t Criticize: Do not dismiss, judge, or criticize the teen for their behavior. Instead, approach them with empathy and compassion.
- Encourage Professional Help: Encourage them in every way possible to seek immediate help from a mental health professional. This is the crucial first step to helping them learn how to talk about their feelings in a healthy way.
If you are looking for resources or guidance to help a loved one struggling with self-harm, professional support is available and can make a life-changing difference.
I am happy to provide you with any free consults or resources to help your loved one struggling with self-harm.
Christian T. Hill, MA, LPC
Legacy Counseling Frisco
www.legacycounselingfrisco.com/contact
Tel: 719-233-8336
